So I think the mic check worked.

     Deep breath, and another, 1-2-3, and one more, thanks I needed that. I have NO clue where my other blog went, no idea when I stopped feeling like I wanted to blog. It just happened. Life, what can I say? But I think I know what direction we are headed in.

     So yea, parenting, yea co adulting (being adults who are parents), yea succeeding in being boss, yea doing the day to day things, yea parenting a special needs kid, yea fighting for/advocating for your kid, yea talking spouse through that, yea this isn't an island/tropical vacation and requires work, yea you dealing with being the emotional garbage disposal of your kid and spouse, yeah!!! your kid is getting what he needs - and it's legit uncomfortable for all of all the things? YEA!

     So our son has been on the waiting list for ABA in home therapy since he was 3. He is now 7.5 years old and is just now getting services. No fault of ours, the teachers, the anyone, as soon as they suggested it, we were on like 5-9 waiting lists, were doing in office cognitive therapy to help, even they said, every last person told us two things 1- ABA and 2- IN HOME. And we got it. Bwahahahahaha!!!

     I don't mean that laugh in a bad way, I mean it in a way that leads into "be careful what you ask for." I was told over and over and over, ABA would be our saving grace so I did the things, but I am also a good patient and didn't wiki/google search it. L won't try, she thinks there is no point, so there is no reason to google it, I think I'm awesome. Read discrepancy in home expectations.

     But, I mean, that's kind of our problem, T is great/best with me, just an absolute shit/terror with everyone else: including Momma Lori, teachers, honestly ANYONE else. And I have my things to work on; reinforcing neg behaviors with punishment, stepping in to hold him accountable instead of making him learn to hold himself accountable and probably 20 more things his RBT can name off the top of her head. I am NOT a perfect parent. I fail, all the time, like in my mind, more often than I succeed.

    So this will be a fun journey of parenting, relationships, ABA, dealing with it all as a parent that needs your own things, working through the times. I mean, honestly, WTF do I know, I know nothing, 0, like less than 0 about raising a tiny human. I DO know how to train horses/animals. And for like over 30 years, I have successfully trained 1200# non-verbal toddlers to bend to a 40 pound kids will, I CAN DO THIS.

    So please, if you are frustrated, if you are struggling, please make a comment let me know I'm not alone, cause I can guarantee you are not alone.